Tag Archives: The Vault of Crushes

The Vault


A few years ago, Kelly made this rule called The Seven-Year Vault. In it, locked away, were deep dark secrets, dumb mistakes and things we just wish we could forget. In theory, you are not allowed to ridicule a person based on a past memory or anecdote if it falls more than 7 years ago (it’s vaulted). And seeing as we’re coming up on our 25th bdays, that means, most of our high school shenanigans will now be vaulted. Sigh. Whatever will we do to past the time now?

Thankfully, this group of guys made up a similar vault (via Glamour’s Single-ish), The Vault of Crushes. The premise is simple, when a guy (let’s say Dan) is dating someone (let’s say Brooke) and another girl (let’s say Sarah) tells one of Dan’s friends that she thinks he’s cute, Dan’s friend vaults this crush confession. Then, when the day comes that Dan and Brooke break up, because everyone breaks up, the dude friends “Release the Kracken Crushes.”

I wish gals had a system like this. So during the mourning period, we just sit around and say who your new potential suitors should/could be. I just couldn’t help but laugh at multiple times throughout this video (note: Mom, you might not enjoy the daily banter of 20-somethings…). But seriously, gals need a break up video similar to this. No tears, no Ben & Jerry’s. Maybe a little Burning Ceremony (though don’t do it in a bathtub…) and an opening of a vault.