Dude is craaaaazy

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Growing up without cable, I naturally didn’t develop many television viewing habits other than Arthur and TGIF nights. Upon entering college, I finally entered the world of cable, but found the overwhelming number of channels a huge turn off. Plus, I missed the boat on Real World, Southpark, Daria, etc. What I didn’t miss the boat on? Reality television. Guilty pleasure all the way.

After watching a few seasons of The Bachelor, I realized The Bachelorette is really where the hilarity is. Not sure if you’ve watched this season’s with ex-cast off Ali, but boy is it a doozy. Guys fighting for a girl are more candid and hilarious. Where the girls fighting for a guy are just loony tunes. There’s like 4 guys who are just fantastic this season (Chris L., Kirk, Frank and Roberto) and then there’s crazy man Kasey. Here’s why he’s insane:

1) His “guard and protect your heart” line is just wearing thin. At this point, should anyone ever say something like this to me, I will punch him in the face and tell him to grow a pair. Tattoos it on his wrist like a creeper? I will run. This isn’t the Marines, there’s nothing to guard and protect.

2) The way he says Ali is annoying as all get out. Kind of like how Eric from elementary school used to say Mal’s name “Mawl-ory.” Like say the name properly. Drives me up the wall.

3) Speak up. No one likes a mumbler. ABC please put subtitles on this guy when he’s speaking.

But thank you Kasey for your krazy antics, as it has known brought fantastic discussions with the roommate such as: what to do when I guy who has known you for the past few weeks get inked and what it means when a guy just cannot get along with another one of his kind.

So men of Chicago (and from afar seeing as I love me some accents), speak clearly and properly, be friends with my boys (or pretend to be) and don’t try to coin a phrase. And definitely, don’t tattoo yourself with it. Make it a henna. Or a ballpoint ink à la 500 Days of Summer.

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